Agree to Disagree
Disagreeing is awesome.
When I encounter someone who doesn’t share the same views as me, whether it’s regarding politics, religion, or a Popeyes chicken sandwich, I enjoy taking that opportunity to learn about another point of view.
I traditionally operate on the premise that I don’t have all the answers, and never will. So when someone or something challenges my beliefs, it can do at least one of two beneficial things.
It makes me think critically about my position and successfully defend it with superior facts and logic
I have an assortment of convictions that I call my own. They’ve been gained and groomed through different means and I take them quite seriously.
When I encounter something that challenges one of these convictions, my first impulse is to operate as though I am right, and thus do my best to defend my position however I can.
A lot of times, especially if I’m having an online discussion with a Twitter troll or a wannabe 15-year-old social justice warrior on Instagram, it’s not that hard to present in a way where I feel like my argument was superior.
That’s not saying much. When your “opponent” considers themselves an expert because their parents keep CNN on in the background while they’re playing Candy Crush, odds are there’s not going to be much substance to their position.
Symptoms of this type of debator include, but are not limited to:
- Using one baseless cliche after another
- Going back through the baseless cliches after each gets shot down
- Using language that would make their mother cry
- When all else fails, giving you one of the following titles: racist, sexist, bigot, homophobe, etc, etc, etc.
- Blocking you
Like I said, not much substance.
There have been several times however when an opposing view was presented quite well, and it really made me think.
I was forced to dig into the conversation a little more and spend some extra time working to understand the points and how to reply. These are often quite productive conversations and I come away with a deeper understanding of the subject matter.
In these cases, the goal is not to talk the other person into a corner, but simply to have a productive discussion. Often, during these discussions, there are admissions of “That’s a good point” and “Interesting, I never thought about it that way!”.
When you’re not desperately trying to defend yourself from a crazy person insulting everything you care about, there is generally more room for civil discourse; which is where good things happen.
The opposing view exposes holes in my position and I’m forced to retreat and reconsider
I want to learn.
I want to grow.
I want to know the truth.
Sometimes that means admitting when you’re wrong and rethinking where you stand. I’m not good at this, but I need to do it more.
The bottom line is we gain nothing from coasting through life unchallenged. Disagreement is where the rubber meets the road.
I’ve seen more and more recently how easy it is to skirt around conflict. So much of this current generation’s subject intake is centered around social media, where a block or an unfollow is all that is required to create that safe space that is so craved after but is quite detrimental to our growth.
Don’t run from confrontation.
Silencing people is a cry of the weak.
The strong see conflict, meet it, and grow stronger.
